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Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Roll
Roll your pearl
Does it roll straight as expected? Or does it meander into jeopardy?
If your gem sways to unsafe areas and rolls to dark corners, do not force it out,
In a simple act, more power does not parallel more success.
A splintered pearl rolls not at all,
The cracks, deep and shallow, can throw it off course,
Leaving pieces behind as it rolls.
A broken, decayed sphere can stop entirely if given the ability.
Only purity and care can even a distorted pearl,
Only layers of right can eliminate grime of imperfection.
Disjoint your vision.
Trust your supple hands.
Play by sense of smell.
Do not think, meditate.
Do not inhale and exhale, breathe.
Do not listen, hear.
Do not exist, live.
Unlock your eyes and gaze at your treasure,
Do not look at it, see it.
A bump?
Go with the flow.
A crack?
Fill it.
Dirt and dust, grime and grunge?
Clean it.
The texture pristine, the value restored,
Perfection achieved,
Character added.
A breath of a push, and your pearl rolls once again.
Roll your pearl
Does it roll straight as expected? Or does it meander into jeopardy?
If your gem sways to unsafe areas and rolls to dark corners, do not force it out,
In a simple act, more power does not parallel more success.
A splintered pearl rolls not at all,
The cracks, deep and shallow, can throw it off course,
Leaving pieces behind as it rolls.
A broken, decayed sphere can stop entirely if given the ability.
Only purity and care can even a distorted pearl,
Only layers of right can eliminate grime of imperfection.
Disjoint your vision.
Trust your supple hands.
Play by sense of smell.
Do not think, meditate.
Do not inhale and exhale, breathe.
Do not listen, hear.
Do not exist, live.
Unlock your eyes and gaze at your treasure,
Do not look at it, see it.
A bump?
Go with the flow.
A crack?
Fill it.
Dirt and dust, grime and grunge?
Clean it.
The texture pristine, the value restored,
Perfection achieved,
Character added.
A breath of a push, and your pearl rolls once again.
Heres a poem that I was asked to write for my english class. I was supposed to get critiqued on it, but nobody could find things wrong with it. So, tear it apart, find every line and word that could be changed to make it better 
(oh, I dont know if this is in the right category, sorry if its incorrect)
(oh, I dont know if this is in the right category, sorry if its incorrect)
© 2006 - 2024 BordomBeThyName
Comments8
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This is fantastic, at some points I thought it was awkward but then I read it again aloud and it was perfection, well done!